#auntie’s gravy

[bellybursterhungrythirster]

🏸🏸🏸🏸🏸🏸🏸🏸🏸🏸🏸🏸🏸🏸

The greatest gravy you’ve ever tasted

Beat one egg into a pulp. Take that pulp and punch it one more time. Once you do that, put your pulp in a plastic bag and be sure to leave it wide open. Insert one finger to check for temperature. Once cold, ice it for 25 minutes. Do you know what comes next? That’s right, the seasoning. 🧂 we have to add 3 cubes of salt, one cube of pepper, and one hot spicy mama pepper. Saturns rings were formed under the same laws of physics that created cars 2. Just thought you should know. Next comes the real shit. This one’s not for your average Joe’s gravy, so you better watch out. Here it comes: serve with a spoon.

[music4soul]

In another universe where John has an amazing family(no drunk dads allowed!) he brings Nik over for the holidays and boy oh boy do they stuff that man with food. I’m talkin’ ham, rolls, gravy, whatever you can think of(and Nik being Nik, of course he’s gonna get down).

“Johnathan, do you not feed this man? He’s practically bone!” His grandma says as she fills Nik’s plate up with another round of turkey and gravy.

“Nana, he’s well fed. We cook together every night.” John says with a cocked eyebrow and a sly grin, glancing over at Nik who’s busy trying not to choke on the rolls his aunt was feeding him. “Goodness, don’t kill him auntie Julie!”

“I’m not trying to!” His aunt exclaims as she pats Nik on the back. “Just tryna fatten him up is all.”

“I am— appreciative.” Nik says as he scarfs down the last of the rolls, cheeks flushing as John reaches over to wipe the corners of his mouth. “But trust, I eat enough with my husband. He fattens me up every chance he can get.”

John nods at this.

Suddenly, one of John’s nieces looks up at the two of them and grins widely.

“When are you having kids? I want a cousin!”

The table erupts into commotion. John and Nik blank out for the rest of the evening.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Today I rewatched all of season 2 with a friend who hadn't had the chance to see it, and it's really true that if the pacing seemed off to you as it aired, try watching it altogether. It flows so well when you're not spending a week in between episodes hyping up theories and over-analyzing throwaway lines.

The rewatch hammered home how lucky I feel to have this show! It's so good, friends. I'm so incredibly grateful we got this show.

Some of the little things that I didn't appreciate on first watch that I just adored on a rewatch:

How well Archie and Zheng Yi Sao are immediately integrated into our cast. They had limited time and their writing is really cleverly done to endear us to them immediately.

Every Buttons and Auntie interaction, absolute gold

Surprisingly (for me), Ed and Izzy's interactions in the first two eps. It's just so terminally unhinged. The way Izzy says he "has love" for Ed like he's ashamed of it, like how you have a sickness. "Do you think I wouldn't know the smell of my own rotting former first mate?" The way Ed handed Izzy a gun to try to get him to shoot Ed, but Izzy tried to shoot himself instead and was symbolically reborn. It's good shit.

The Gravy Basket scenes really rewards a rewatch. Try to pick up on clues something's up before Ed realizes, it's great fun.

The way Stede's devotion to Ed is immediately palpable.

Ed and Stede are so soft and cute for each other dear lord. just gets better and better.

The musical choices are top notch, especially in those first three episodes. The sound design in general is exceptional.

The way this show is shot, dear lord. There is so much care in every shot, it doesn't look like a basic TV show.

Every actor in this show is giving it their all. Rhys and Taika are phenomenal, of course, but Con is amazing, Matt Maher makes me love Black Pete more with every rewatch, David Fane is perfect, and Samba Schutte is so incredible. Roach doesn't have a lot this season but Samba gives every line 110%.

Such! A! Good! Show!! If you didn't like the pacing on first watch, take my word for it, try a rewatch.

[marionthegeek]

Stede is in the Gravy Basket, Izzy is Alive

The season 2 finale of Our Flag Means Death is odd.  It hits weird. I think I know why. And this is going to sound bananas, but give me a chance to explain.  Maybe you’ll agree.

It has a huge tonal shift. It seems to speedrun Stede and Ed’s romance. It feels like we’ve missed out on something from the end of episode 7.  The fight scenes and pirate plans are nonsensical, even for OFMD. And most egregiously, a prominent character is killed off in a way that feels disingenuous to his story arc, just for starters.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  We need to go back to the beginning of season 2.  The season opens with Stede looking more piratey than ever. Beard, sash, earring… oh he’s his own fantasy of a real proper pirate.  He’s clashing swords with Izzy Hands and demanding to know where Ed is. He’s dreaming. In the dream he kills Izzy. He and Ed run into each other’s arms while screaming each other’s names. They crash into the surf. Ed says “I knew you’d find me, Babe.  I knew you’d find me, Love.” Stede keeps asking if they’re good. Ed dodges the question. Then Ed asked about the smell. Stede wakes up in a crowded room with farting and shushing roommates.

At first I thought the finale was supposed to be just a “satisfying” mirror to Stede’s dream. Stede and Ed call each other’s names and run into each other’s arms in a display that resembles a more grown up version of Stede’s dream fantasy. There’s some wild sword fighting not unlike Stede’s dream duel with Izzy. And Izzy dies.

It does mirror, but I didn’t find it satisfying. All of the characters except Stede feel flattened. Stede gets to make the heroic plan (that we never even hear) while there’s at least five pirates with better skill sets for it in the room. Ed, as Blackbeard, was described last season as “History’s greatest tactician”; Zheng Yi Sao conquered China; Jackie just took out a room full of British soldiers. Izzy and Auntie are right there. You could make arguments that Jim or Frenchie, or pretty much anyone could make a better plan. Then Stede says “It’s only suicide if we die,” which is horrible considering the plan gets Izzy killed.

Stede’s really the only person in that room who thinks Stede should be making the plans.  So I got to thinking, what if it's not just mirroring the dream? What if it is a dream? Last shot of episode 7 is an incoming cannonball. Maybe he’s unconscious.

Huge shout out to @Arty_Sunflowers on twitter (I’m not calling it X, fuck Musk) for pointing out that that isn’t the only episode that ends with a cannonball. Episode 2 ends with Jim swinging a cannonball down at Ed’s head.  Stede’s not just dreaming, he’s in the Gravy Basket!!!! (Stede even screams “Oh my God!” at the end of episode 7 in the same tone he screams “Oh my God, I don’t want to die.” in s1e9.

Stede’s hopes, dreams, and insecurities shape everything in the finale. And it helps explain the absurdities in the episode when you remember that Stede is living out pulp adventure and romance novels in his head. (He even looks like someone on the cover of one in his episode 1 dream.) But Stede can’t be dead, you say. He’s literally the main character. Well, Ed was dead for a whole episode. Let’s take a closer look.

I could and probably will do another essay on Lucius as a POV character and Ed’s mental health and how the threads they seemed to have dropped aren’t as dropped as they appear. But all of that hinges on me proving the Stede is in the Gravy Basket theory. So for this essay I’m focusing on that.

So for starters we’ve got the cannonball scenes. They’re eerily similar even if the method of cannonball propulsion is different. We don’t know Ed is dead and in the Gravy Basket for about half of episode 3. Neither does he. It makes logical sense you can be there without realizing it for a while. Buttons even said Ed didn’t know whether he was in the Gravy Basket or not in episode 4. It definitely messes with your reality.

One of Ed’s issues is self hate. He manifests Hornigold as his companion. Stede is desperate to be a good pirate and have people be proud of him. And he lives in his fantasies a lot.  So his dream shapes his experience. There’s a whole bit about Zheng needing “soft” and Auntie saying she’s proud of her. That isn’t their issue. It’s discordant with the show previously. But it is Stede’s issue. He’s manifesting.

When we first see Stede and Zheng in episode 8, they’re in a familiar spot for Stede, the bridge from episode 1. But why are they alone? When we last see Stede and Zheng in episode 7, several characters are within 5 to 10 feet of them. Did none of them decide to escape with Stede? Izzy, Lucius,  and Jim are closest. But we know Pete was there begging Stede to stay down during his fight with Zheng. Archie was definitely in the bar. That's why Jim entered the fight. So why is it only Stede and Zheng at the bridge? Because, going back to rescue others fits into Stede's hero fantasies. 

Zheng and Stede also argue about who pulled who to safety and how they got there. Stede waxes poetic about being a failure his whole life, but things always seem to work out for him. He’s such a main character mediocre white guy in this scene. He saves Zheng from two random soldiers, then she has to save him from them. Then they fight a bunch more soldiers on the beach until Blackbeard manifests in full leather from the ocean.  It looks cool. But it's absurd, even for OFMD.

Speaking of Ed, he begins the episode waxing poetic about nature and calling fishermen simple.  Those things are more Stede than Ed. Pop pop tells Ed, “You have no skills” which is something Izzy said to Stede in episode 5.  He also tells Ed, “If you were ever good at something, go do that, you bum.” If Stede’s insecurities could be distilled into one sentence, it would probably be that. (He also talks about being like a wave. I’m not 100% sure it's a The Good Place joke, but it would be thematically appropriate.)

Pop pop also tells Ed he “ruined dinner.”  Back in season 1, in Stede’s flashbacks to life with Mary and the kids, Stede thinks he’s ruined dinner. But remember, we also see another version of the scene where Stede is laughing with Mary and the kids.  Stede isn’t exactly a reliable narrator. Even in his own head.

Despite it being beyond unlikely, Ed finds soldiers reading one of Stede’s letters. I know physics in this show is sketchy, but this seems like a good time to point out no one found the red silk. Stede wants Ed to read a letter and for it to fix everything between them. The letter, plus Stede being in danger, make Ed swim out, find his leathers, and emerge from the sea with them on, while the music is the Swede’s solo from Stede’s fuckery in s1e6. Stede wants to be rescued by his handsome pirate in leather, again, just like a pulp adventure romance novel. Little chance of Ed swimming out and finding his kit.  Even less of him getting leather pants on under the water.

Back to the beach… for some reason two squads of soldiers are wandering around out on an empty beach. A visually incredible fight scene occurs. It honestly reminds me of Pete’s story in s1e2, including flips. Ed and Stede yell each other’s names exactly as in the dream. Like I’m pretty sure they used the same audio track. The same song (I Love My Baby, Nina Simone) starts playing. Ed says “I love you.” Stede says “I know.” (We’ll come back to the Han Solo joke in a minute.) They have a bit more absurd fighting then Ed, Stede, and Zheng sit on the beach complimenting each other. And Ed calls Stede “babe”.  He’s never done that outside of Stede’s dream and this moment. He’s called him mate a couple of times.  Babe is exclusively in Stede’s head.

Back in the Republic of Pirates, the crew are locked in a cell that is actually the “vista suite” at Spanish Jackie’s.  Izzy gets a heroic entrance. It’s as cool as Stede thinks Izzy is. And he gives a speech that sounds like what he probably told Stede to get him to relinquish the suit in episode 5. Piracy is about belonging to something. You can’t ignore the wishes of the crew.  Izzy also knows details about Captain Kidd and Pinocchio. Not impossible, but not exactly Izzy’s wheelhouse. It is Stede’s though. He’s obsessed with pirate tales and he read Pinocchio to the crew.

Stede, Ed, and Zheng show up just as Jackie has poisoned a bunch of soldiers. Stede makes a plan, despite everyone else being more qualified. Everyone disguises themselves as soldiers. Now we’ve seen the crew of the Revenge wear disguises. They never do the weird free styling they do here. Only Stede actually looks like a British officer. Zheng at least wears the disguise properly. Suddenly Ed has a multi gun bandolier like Blackbeard in the books. Pete ripped the arms off. Izzy is still wearing his vest. Doesn’t make sense if we’re going for stealth. Neither does not checking hostage Ricky for weapons or putting Izzy and his wooden leg at the front of the group.

If I'm right, Stede wouldn't know Ricky was behind the explosions. However,  Ricky is basically evil Stede. He's Stede's perfect foil. All of this is reflecting Stede's psyche. So, of course, it's Ricky.

Izzy gets shot and says quite a lot of nonsense in his death scene. “They love you, Ed.” Um, 3 of them were going to leave like five minutes ago. Ed has made some progress with the crew, but we’re not at “they love you Ed”.  The only person who thinks the crew loves Ed is Stede. Stede who weeps for Izzy while most of the crew aren’t showing much emotion. Stede can barely deal with his own big feelings. His fantasy doesn’t give the crew room to have them. Also, given the rest of the season, having Jim just let Ed be the person cradling Izzy doesn’t fit. The crew is also pretty stony at Izzy’s funeral.

I feel like it should be noted the last shot of Izzy in episode 7, he’s got one are around Jim and a hand on Lucius’s shoulder. He sat in Wee John’s lap in episode 6. Reactions to his death don’t make sense.

Also, Izzy’s terrible grave marker is very … Stede. He’d think it was a brilliant idea.

I didn't understand at first why Izzy had to die, even in Stede's dream world. Stede clearly likes him a lot better now. Why kill him? Well, it's because we're supposed to think Buttons is there to go to the Gravy Basket for Izzy. When actually he's already arrived in the Gravy Basket and he's there for Stede. Also, mentors die in pulp adventure novels. Stede sees Izzy as a mentor.

They go aboard the Revenge for Lucius and Pete’s wedding. It’s cute that the crew performs the ceremony, but I’d venture a guess that’s because Stede doesn’t know a captain should do it if it's legally binding. Stede does love the romance of it all.  The sudden uptick in monogamy is also very Stede. He barely understands monogamous relationships. Polyamory is beyond him.

Then Stede and Ed, who earlier told Zheng they’d help hunt Ricky, go back to the island where Izzy is buried to start an inn in a run down shack.  Stede knows Ed wants to do this because Ed told the (Taika’s) kids that they ran an inn.  We hear Ed ask “Jesus, what is that smell?” Now, at first, I thought Izzy, because Ed “knows the smell of my rotting first mate”. But what was the last thing to happen in Stede’s dream? A fart joke.

Last scene is Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave. To retrieve Izzy from the Gravy Basket? No, Izzy’s not dead. He’s with Jim and Lucius, probably watching over Stede’s corpse. Buttons is there to retrieve Stede.

This theory fixes the plot holes and dropped threads problem. We’re coming back to them next season. Ed's amends making should be far from over. And we see several moments during the season where he acknowledged that. And yet here on the island they've set up a horror movie and called it a happy ending.  Well, Stede is the type of boss who thinks things are fixed with a pizza (Calypso) party. In Stede's mind, this is a happy ending.  But really Ed is still off finding himself,  Stede is (temporarily) dead, and Izzy (who is not dead!) is probably guarding Stede's corpse.

They haven't resolved the domestic violence thread, but they haven't dropped it, either. Izzy is alive. Stede and Ed aren't together (yet). There's still time.

This also explains some of the freewheeling nonsense David Jenkins has been spouting in articles. Ed doesn’t see Izzy as a father figure and mentor, Stede does.  Stede almost turned to mush when Izzy approved of him. And David is writing a three volume adventure novel. Han Solo (Stede) is in carbonate (the Gravy Basket). The perfect end to the second act. See, I told you we’d get back to the Han Solo joke.

I still have problems with the season.  I really think they need a sensitivity reader. Even just implying a newly disabled character was fridged is certainly a choice. Especially given the amount of time devoted to how the character handled the disability. The DV scenes were brutal, as well as the suicide attempt, and the Human Puppet joke. I think they need someone trauma informed and disabled in the writer's room. (David Jenkins hit me up!)

Overall, I liked season 2. Especially once I realized Izzy wasn't dead. I'm looking forward to season 3, the conclusion of the Gentle Beard arc, and hopefully 6 seasons and a movie of Izzy (to be clear, he's not captain) and the kids sailing up and down the coast being gay and doing crimes, occasionally checking in with Stede and Ed.

Seriously, David, call me.

Historical Note: IRL Blackbeard died on November 22, 1718, killed in a naval battle off Ocracoke Island in North Carolina. IRL Stede Bonnet died December 10, 1718, hanged in Charles Town, South Carolina for piracy.  IRL Israel “Izzy” Hands survives piracy, death date unknown. I know this show doesn’t actually care about historical accuracy, but this lends a little support for my Ed died, then Stede died, and Izzy isn’t dead theory.

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #27

The Battle of Big Wand

Part 2 of reacting to this episode (spoiler-free)!

Cosmo talking about the Big Wand going down: Better check with I.T. Hazel: Just I.T.? No fancy fairy name?

why is this so funny to me

Y'know... I've have a post in my drafts for ages that mocks Anti-Cosmo's castle entrance for not being wheelchair-friendly (because the road is covered in spikes). If he took over and then put spikes on this new road, I'm gonna lose it.

OH, I NAILED my "After thinking about it, this is my final answer" prediction. Dev is in the house! oh, good gravy.

This is the second time he's tried to be a king, and I think it's funny he hasn't tried to be a company president or anything. Not fantasy enough for him.

It's stupid funny to me that Dev just turned 10 and he's got impressive muscles when he flexes. what is this child doing- bench pressing solid gold??

We've been robbed of Dev wishing himself into one of the puzzle games he likes and getting buried under, like... Tetris blocks and having to claw his way out.

That might make a good 'fic; I feel like "wishing to be inside an app" is very correct for him.

??? whaaat does he have? He's got portable wishes of some kind? Is it a shooting star? oh, goodness. Let me think, let me think...

!! Crocker has these in the finale of Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 1. He throws them at the ground near fairy guards to poof them into animals. They're grenades. lmao, Dev got into the Fairy Armory.

Canonically, the Fairy Armory is the only place in Fairy World that still has power during outages, so... epic magic fight with weapons?? Ooooh, I hope so!

Irep is back, I knew it!! Part of me suspected he wouldn't be here because he's not really known for being a team player, but I'm glad he is :) Let's go Anti-Fairies!!

I'm delighted Anti-Cosmo isn't taking lead. Also, for some reason it's hilarious to me that Irep is focused on Hazel and not interested in addressing Cosmo or Wanda. He used to greet them as Auntie and Uncle, and now he's like "I don't need their approval or love."

Uh-oh... Has he sorted out his needy issues? If he's too old for naps and we can't bribe him with hugs, how will we defeat him??

I wanted to see if he uses their honoraries in "Fairly Odd Fairy Tales" (since he does it when he's being polite and I knew he was offering food). He doesn't, but I like how Wanda straight-up fed her nephew an apple that puts him to sleep until his true love kisses him, then looks dead at the viewer and says "And then we all lived happily ever after." Is the implication that no one will ever love him, so he's unconscious forever?? omg. Wanda's very black and white view of things is so incredibly funny to me, especially since she grew up in a mob family.

I'm excited to see Dev and the Anti-Fairies. Who would win: the species that invented papercuts, or a little boy who longs for lemonade?

Are you telling me Cosmo and Anti-Cosmo are BOTH intimidated by Irep now? Either this is about to be super funny, or they've switched.

Did Anti-Cosmo finally step up his parenting? Not out of the question; in Season 10, Foop was in time-out for putting spiders in his spaghetti.

(How ironic, considering Foop liked eating spiders).

I rewound and Cosmo jumps when the magic hits, before he sees Irep, so he's not necessarily afraid of him. Also, keeping my fingers crossed for anti-family interactions. I'm really looking forward to a face-off between Irep and Peri; their banter is my favorite and we didn't get much in "Best of Luck."

I'm so glad that despite changing his name, Irep presents himself with the same flair he always did. He is the same person...

omg, his little cufflinks. He's adorable.

For some reason, I've called him "posh British boy" in two previous posts, but... idk why, because he's literally never been posh and I know that. I'm glad he looks like his aesthetic is "bad boy with the tiniest detail of fancy."

I hope he's still friends with Sammy Sweetsparkle :) Maybe they're in a gang. I know there's 0 chance of Sammy being in this episode, but can you just imagine if Foop took out his wallet and there's a picture of Sammy in it.

Actually... if he's got a little metal circle there, I think that implies his jacket is closer to denim than leather. Lemme check......

OH, interesting... Yeah, he and Sammy don't match.

I don't say it enough, but it's really freakin' funny to me that Foop spends a distressing amount of "Certifiable Super Sitter" following Sammy or spying on Sammy and/or reacting to everything Sammy says. He's just Like That... Like, I enjoy the implication that of all the places Foop could go when his parents canonically left him unsupervised for the week, he likely chose to hit up the Turner place in spite of his hatred for Poof because Sammy is there. Silly.

Anyway...

Dev: Yeah, yeah, yeah... and Irep. Joint conquerors of Fairy World.

OMFG, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Was I RIGHT that Anti-Cosmo isn't even at the takeover!? Local introvert hates leaving his house and never wanted Fairy World anyway; more at 11. I'll be there!!

Plot twist, Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda don't actually show up in this episode because they're busy flirting while Irep's away.

I clocked the design aesthetic of the taken-over Fairy World as "This is Irep and Dev as partners; Anti-Cosmo wouldn't do this" so hard. crying. how did I do that. it's not getting better than this.

"Let's get DEV-ious!!"

dlkfgm, once again losing it at Dev using his first name rather than the "Dimm" part of his surname when he makes puns. He's a Dimmadome, but... he's kind of his own twig on the tree.

It is unreasonably funny to me that Irep's wand is so heavy considering he had massive muscles as a child after his Abracatraz imprisonment ("Spellementary School" & "Timmy's Secret Wish").

Also, I am FASCINATED by the decision to give Irep one little zipper tab that hangs off his jacket. Impeccable.

I love this team already. These are two people who are both known for:

- Coming from upper class families - Having parent-related abandonment issues - Not showing a lot of restraint - Only showing restraint when they've REALLY gone too far

Hmm... Oh boy, let me think. We know Dev's [previous] line was that he didn't like his dad shocking people's brains for money, with Dev having strained feelings even when he was trying to convince himself the shocks could be good ("You can help kids!") And he did feel bad about fighting with Hazel, though he's definitely Going Through the Wringer right now.

And Irep's line in the OG series is that he was totally down for:

- Tormenting his parents - Annihilating Crocker for not inviting him to his house party (whom he hilariously calls Denzel when he's mad at him) - Pointing his school's playground slide into the void - Sending Cosmo and Wanda on a dinner date to a black hole - Poof dying (despite the fact their lives were tied together)

- but he wouldn't allow anyone to harm Chloe, who finally introduced him to hugs.

He made it very clear he wasn't willing to face Vicky to save his own life, even on the verge of death, but he'd do it for her or for chicken cordon bleu. And she's not here, and we're all out of chicken cordon bleu. Uh-oh…

- Would Irep rate Hazel hugs 10/10? Inquiring minds need to know. - Is Dev bribing Irep with hugs? Or is Irep just here for the chaos and assurances that Dev's having more fun with him than Peri? - Is Irep bribing Dev with hugs? Are they pumping each other up with positive affirmations?? Go king; continue the healing cycle!

If Irep's parents show up, I hope he's on good terms with his mom, who used to pack chicken nuggets and anti-venom in his lunch box :)

Dev's faith in his ability to not fall off his O-pairs makes me nervous every time he's ever been onscreen.

His dad might let him down, but the O-pairs never have.

[ cnt'd - #Long post ]

All I've been thinking about for ages is an AU where Dev and Mikey Munroe (Bunsen Is a Beast) switch drones for a day, so Mikey's parents freak out that they can't monitor their son 24/7 and meanwhile, Dev just... can't get his dad's attention despite the two-way microphone and camera screen. Also, Mikey spends most of his time making noises into the O-pairs' fans. It's always been my headcanon that Mikey's parents installed the Buxaplenty's and Leadly's security systems (hence the buttons releasing different dogs & the lethal lightning bolts) since I think "ooh, rich people want us" helps justify why his parents are gone for months or years at a time when we know their job is designing home security, so basically... all the cool rich people use them. I actually have a WIP of Mikey and Remy playing near the Buxaplenty train tracks when they were little, but I never found a plot point strong enough to carry it to the end. Anyway, I've been waiting to see what the Dimmadomes have in terms of security, but it's... nothing yet. Plot twist, Dale has trust issues even with the people installing security?? ... I think he'd be friends with Mikey's parents. Maybe. Actually, I might need a 'fic about Dale having a meltdown when he goes home for the first time in 7 years and doesn't trust that Vicky won't sneak in to get him. He needs the world's best security team. It's two terrible parents afraid of literally everything. Yes, they ditched their kid for this. Don't worry about it. y'know... It's really messed up that Mikey's parents are terrified of everything, but they leave their 12-year-old home alone with the pets for months or years at a time, "but it's fine because they're spying on him 24/7 and sometimes give him gifts (like medicated wipes)." His dad is implied to have a fear of germs and I've always wondered if that plays into them not being anywhere near Mikey... Plot twist- We pull a "My Gym Partner's a Monkey" (where the reason we don't see Adam Lyon's parents is because they're severely allergic to animal hair and Adam has to thoroughly wash when he's home and they can't go to school events), but it's Mikey's parents fleeing Muckledunk because they're either allergic or afraid of Beasts. They left their son... Okay, I just checked my notes and I have a line here that says "Mikey's obsession with soft things like animals, beards, and blankets is probably because his parents never touch him." help??

Anyway, I think an AU where Dale hovers over Dev 24/7 and is still a terrible dad would be funny. Instead of neglect, it's obsession... Especially at this age since Dev's as old as Dale was when his trauma started.

... Is Dale putting distance between himself and Dev on purpose because Dev looks exactly like him and is now the age when Dale's life came crashing down? idk if Dale had access to mirrors back then, but that's gotta be weird.

crying at Irep waiting for his cue to pull Dev's flashbacks down from the top of the screen. They rehearsed this. Painfully in-character (In "Secret Wish," Foop claims he waited 10 minutes outside so he could burst in at a dramatic moment).

The way Irep twists his legs gives me Anti-Cosmo vibes.

Rare "Winn without cap" spotted in the wild.

Dev has the room oriented the wrong direction and in doing so, he forgot to include the door. Emotionally, he's stuck in this room. lmao.

Maybe it's a class that's not Guzman's since we know from "Multiverse of Jenkins" that these kids do attend other classes. But... Dev, what's goin' on, buddy?

INCREDIBLY funny to me that Bev sits directly in front of Dev? I gotta go back and fact-check that sometime. Has he been harboring his crush on her because she's right there? That's great!

??? If she DOESN'T sit there then I have to assume Dev is just so Bev-centric that he WANTS her to be there, and that's very funny. Go chase your sporty crush, rich boy. I support you.

Okay, I went back, and it seems his canon seat is between Bev and Kev (with Kev behind Hazel), but Kev vaporizes when we need to center Hazel and Dev onscreen at the same time (such as Dev faking sick and Hazel glaring at him). Oh my glob, he's another witch... Dev, embrace your ancestral witch-hunting for me, plz and ty. It would be funny... /checks my witch notes as a joke and screeches to a halt. Oh my goodness, I could finally get a Soil Tribe child in my roster... I have their magic down as "causes host to fade unnoticed into the background," and it would be very funny to do something magical with the child model. ??? On my first watch of "28 Puddings Later," I don't think I saw that scene of Dev falling over and losing his shades when the pudding throne collapses. Must've missed it while taking notes. That's cute.

I like how Dev's memories are 2D like the photos we've seen throughout the series. Also, Hazel's so dang cute.

I'm glad Dale's pants look the same in both the New Wish and old 2D style despite no FOP character ever wearing anything with that many dots.

I like that Dev's hair is much shinier than his dad's, implying Dale still has the dullness that comes with being soft instead of slick.

- I'm assuming this means either Dev's hair is gelled or he gets that from the maternal side of his family? - idk man, this is very in line with my "Dev's mom is a Leadly" headcanon... At this point, I can't NOT torment him with two very rich and extremely messed-up sides of his family... They both have extreme branding and weird fixations and funky buildings and run big businesses that have brought in incredible amounts of money and they like tech and call people the wrong names... do you see what I see...

I'm DELIGHTED Dale's hair curls up in the back. I've been so sad that he lost his tuft when he grew up. This is clever.

!!! oh yeah, Dale has his dad's stripe! Technically he and Dev both have the stripe, but I love the subtle differences in their hair. While collecting screenshots for an earlier post, I noticed the hair above their ears is combed in different directions, like this:

- with Dale showing the stripe much more clearly than Dev does. I like the implication that Dev's stripe is gold. That's really cute.

I checked, and the gold streak does seem to be in the place he has the Dimmadome family stripes in his 2D form (Eyebrow level). Neat!!

Aw, Irep's a big boy! And his hair grew out blue!! Parents' genes came out kickin'. I did wonder. I think it's funny his mustache and goatee are still black.

Despite losing the black hair, he's not yet immune from "Irep, are you sure one of your parents wasn't actually pixie?" allegations. This is stupid funny to me... In my Cloudlands AU, the Anti-Fairies are always dunking on him for having black hair like Anti-Cosmo's ex-wife, but no one can say anything because unlike Anti-Cosmo's first heir (Talon), Foop was born with the iris virus (colored eyes), so he's "been accepted by the nature spirits" and is heir apparent.

... Seeing this many colored eyes is giving me incredible amounts of anxiety, but it would not be appropriate to clarify why out of context. I like the guy with hair over his eyes and a big hat.

Is Irep leading the charge these days? Do the Anti-Fairies take orders from him?

Did Anti-Cosmo step down!? Because considering how much he hates conflict, I wouldn't be slightly surprised, omg...

I think it's funny that if Dev uncovers any official documents or watches memory clips that flashback to Irep's past crimes, he'd probably be like "Why is there no paper trail for this Irep guy? who tf is Foop?"

WAS that his experience of browsing the anti-web? I have to assume it was- I can't imagine Anti-Fairy World would cross his path without Foop's name coming up.

?? Considering that in my previous post, I said I couldn't think of any reason for Anti-Cosmo to desire taking over Fairy World unless he managed to score the earth and/or godkids out of it...

I'm so glad Dev just dropped "They have to take over Fairy World so they can rule Earth." slkdfj?? okay...

Irep: Now we can rule BOTH! Anti-Cosmo: That just sounds like scoring godkids with extra work.

THEM!! I am once again so intrigued by the lore that A.J. went into parascience and is following in Crocker's footsteps?? You've no idea how much I need to know what the A.J.-Crocker relationship is.

crying at Irep making a peace sign when he gets in front of the camera with Dev. Doesn't he do that in his profile pic on Dark Laser's phone? He's literally the same person he's always been. I missed him so much.

PLEASE do not tell me Dev's full name is Development "Devin" Dimmadome. The quote marks Dale puts around "Devin" are making me lose it.

Dale's partner: Honey, can you stop thinking about business for 5 minutes so we can pick a name for our son? Dale, who comes from a family that usually just slaps their name on things: I got this.

?? I'd LOVE to know what's going on with Dev's mom. Did she die in childbirth and had no say in naming her son, and Dale took over from there? Is she alive, but divorced from and/or passive around him?

Like... I have to assume she had the most exquisite prenatal care through a rich family like this, especially if we assume she also came from a wealthy family cough- Leadlys.

Holy flipping plot twist, does Dev not have a mom at all? He looks exactly like his extraordinarily wealthy dad. Was he just cloned so Dale could pass the business on someday? Did Dale just kinda buy him and wait for the surrogate to hand him over, and he never formed any attachment to him as a baby because he had the O-Pairs / au pairs raise him? lmao!!!

Traumatized beyond belief for 7 years by a girl his age so he trusts absolutely no one and never learned what a healthy relationship was like even with a partner, let alone his son. smh.

Actually, it's very funny to think of him and Vicky splitting up. Like, it was extremely toxic and not romantic in the slightest, but she straight-up identified him when she saw his face in "Operation: Birthday Takeback" even though logically, that would have been 70 years since she was last close to him. She probably knew him pretty well, especially since his hair has changed.

Timmy can't have frozen the timestream any earlier than Channel Chasers in Season 4 when he learns he'll lose Cosmo, Wanda, and his memories when he grows up, which is the reason he cites for freezing time in "Timmy's Secret Wish," and that was 50+ years. It's been 20 more on top of that for Dale to grow up and his son to turn 10. We know Vicky and Doug Dimmadome very, very occasionally crossed paths in later seasons (Vicky tries to sell him the Stryker Z in Season 3's "Engine Blocked").

If anyone cares, this (Season 3) is presumably where Dale grew up unless Doug took him to Dimmadelphia.

Like?? Something about the fact that Vicky and Dale are the same age is funny as heck to me. New Wish canon heavily implies Vicky's been taking advantage of Dale since they were 9, and they might've been friends once upon a time (despite the fact that in both New Wish and the OG series, she can never remember who the Dimmadomes are, lol).

There's no way Doug did a good job of looking for him, or Vicky would've turned him in for reward money. I wonder if Dale had a history of sneaking off to play with Vicky and just never came home one day.

Do you think that after her bossing him around for 7 years, Dale was really messed up and didn't know how to make choices for himself?

Oh, that's awful!! Who would write a 'fic about him running away to look for Vicky and beg her to take him back because he doesn't know how to be a person anymore and needs schedules and instruction? Who would do that?? I'm fascinated by their dark, twisted, and incredibly under-explained vibe. Haha, I'm in danger...

oh no, and Dev even told us his father relies on algorithms over his own thoughts, and we KNOW Dale was upset his publicity team said he should talk to people face to face instead of sending the O-Pairs or hiding behind holograms... A snarky Dev told us he thinks "talking to people isn't [Dale's] thing..." I'm connecting the dots...

hey wtf. does Dale have issues with scraping by in the dirt and dark with limited food and water and nothing to his name for 7 years and that's why he freaks out when he loses money? He can't handle the thought of not having a house??

Holy flip, I wish he'd communicate his trauma to his son, but I'm yelling that we keep seeing hints that he's withholding things from Dev. Like ?? Dale explains his thoughts all the time (in monologue fashion), but he's clearly keeping some things under wraps since Dev didn't have any concept for who Vicky was or why she knew his dad.

I genuinely think Dale doesn't want Dev to know the details. Dev didn't even seem to have a good grasp of why he isn't allowed lemonade, or at least that was my read considering how grumpy he was about it.

omg, this is horrible. who would write a 'fic about Dale taking his son camping and then slipping off to have a total meltdown where Dev won't see. who would do that.

Like, I think at this point they're so rich, you'd have to assume they're not at risk of losing everything if Dale took time off work, but we KNOW he's stuck on that schedule Vicky raised him with (working on Saturdays, which we see him do multiple times), and we KNOW he's always trying to claw his way up despite having the money to buy literally anything he could ever want.

And we KNOW Dale's big thing is that he loses his entire flippin' mind when the money slows down ("You still making sales?" / "Yes, but they're dropping, Dev!") and he's willing to stalk and hurt people to keep it coming in.

Y'know, this is continuing my theory that Doug Dimmadome is probably dead. I legit think Dale lost his support system (possibly around Dev's birthday considering how clingy he is about boots and says they came into his life on that day, plus the golden boots with the "In honor" plaque he has in his house). Daddy's not bailing him out of this one...

Lovely that Dale's first words to Dev after finding out he's taken over Fairy World are "My son." Oh, NOW he wants to talk...

I also find out my son is working with the fey and immediately drop his full legal name.

Why is Dale both the worst person alive and the only dad ever? I need to flatten him with a cruise liner (carnally).

Happy boy... (Dev, don't trust him.)

omfg, Irep's not buying this for a second.

?? I feel like it makes things WORSE that Dale seems at least a little aware of how upset Dev is about the boots? "I'm so proud of my son; it almost makes me want to throw away my boots." - There's no way he doesn't know he's been screwing with Dev's head for the last 5 months. omg.

- Hey, does Dale treat Dev this way because Doug made Dale feel like he was playing second fiddle to his giant hats?? I can't help but notice this whole city has a hat theme, yet Dale doesn't seem to care for hats at all... which is interesting, because we know Dimmadelphia existed way before Doug got here. Doug in my theory: /died 10 years ago Dale: If I touch Dad's hats or add boot statues around the city, he'll totally kill me. - ?? I guess the alt theory is that Dale put all the hat stuff up as memorials to his dad, which doesn't sound far-fetched since again... he keeps THIS in his house:

... Huh. I guess it could be a trophy for Dale instead of a memorial. That's another relevant time to use "In honor." What does it say about me that "omg his dad is dead and he bronzed his boots as a keepsake" was my first thought when I saw this in "Operation: Birthday Takeback" and not "Dale is successful of his own merit"? Obsessed with the implication that Dev's brand image is his sunglasses... Three Dimmadomes go down in history: The Hat, The Boots, and The Shades.

I still think Dale should have a gun. Not to be helpful; just to keep things spicy...

Please go to the Fairy Armory: the one place in Fairy World that canonically keeps power during blackouts. I am begging. I feel like his Southern daddy would want this for him. Doug had a flamethrower.

Is Dev still holding those magic grenades, and what would happen if someone tackled him in a hug?

SDLJKFSDKLFJSDF I'm on the floor. Did I call it? No way... But is Anti-Cosmo only going to show up now that Dev's giving godkids to Anti-Fairies??

Irep: Yo, I'm going to take over Fairy World; anyone want anything? Anti-Cosmo: The same thing I always want: a new child. Irep: wtf

Oh, all that time I spent speculating instead of actually watching the episode the night I started was so worth it. I was really nervous people would grump at me for how I see Anti-Cosmo, but now I feel like I was set up for a slam dunk.

Also, I like how Dev's taken over Jorgen's office. I didn't notice at first, but that's clever.

Dale is so proud despite the fact Dev taped his mouth shut and tossed him aside. That's so funny...

omg, this pit looks dark.

Will Dev torment his dad with lemonade? Is Dale going into the dark torture pit that swings open from the top like a trapdoor, which parallels his underground trauma to a T, or is that going too far?? Is Dev going to dump on his dad about Vicky? Will Dale freak out when he realizes he accidentally hired his abuser of 7 years to babysit his son? Will Dale be joining Club Redheads Who Didn't Get Mindwiped? (I hope not, because Vicky's in it). Will Dev bully his father while he has all this power and then wipe his mind?? So many questions. Find out next time...

[ahedderick]

Between the Holidays

Friday was butchering (cleanup) and processing roosters (and welcoming holiday guests.) Saturday was getting a couple bushels of stored apples out of the attic and making pie filling, applesauce, and cider. And cleanup. Some much cleanup. The apple corer performed like a champ. K and Auntie peeled and chopped apples while I scurried around coring, cleaning up, getting pots and pans out, cooking, and various 'support' tasks.

Today I'm going to be cooking a Thanksgiving-style feast; turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffing, green beans, corn, apple pie, and pumpkin pie. Tomorrow I have a breakdown scheduled. Sometimes the workload just . . clumps up.

[aspureasamelody]

Known Bailey Family members:

Clay Bailey

(Golden child of the family. A gentle giant, a fervent bookworm, and a very skilled cowboy, farmhand, and rancher. A natural-born prodigy. Often feels crushed under the weight of expectations from his father, but still tries very hard to be what his daddy wants him to be. Gradually learns to stand his ground, but still has difficulties with buckling to his family.)

Jesse Bailey

(Clay's baby sister. Black sheep of the family, ran away to join an infamous biker gang out of resentment when her frustrations and loneliness reached a head. Openly antagonistic towards Clay because she felts his talents overshadowed her, but they were very close when they were younger.)

Daddy Bailey

(Patriarch of the family. Well-intentioned but hard-headed and old-fashioned, to the heavy detriment of his kids and his relationship with them.)

Momma Bailey

(Always knows what gifts Clay likes best.)

Granny Lily

(Clay's greatest fear. Gives hard cheek pinches and wet kisses that, as a kid from a southern family, Clay is really not allowed to refuse.)

Grandpappy Jeb

[No image available; only mentioned (TCG)]

(wears diapers, stays in a nursing home. Scrappy fighter who Clay has apparently fought before when he escaped his nursing home)

Cousin Buford

"Whew. I thought my cousin Buford was big. I'd hate to see what that fella [Cyclops] puts away for breakfast."

[No image available; only mentioned (Sizing Up Omi)]

(Is BIG, big enough to that even Clay was impressed at his size, but nowhere near as big as Cyclops)

Auntie May

"This place is creepier than auntie may givin' herself a sponge bath."

[No image available; only mentioned (The Emperor Scorpion Strikes Back)]

(Apparently gives herself sponge baths; implied Clay accidentally walked in on that at least once)

Uncle Otis

"Poor little fella's gonna last as long as a dab of gravy on my uncle Otis's lower lip."

[No image available; only mentioned (The Emperor Scorpion Strikes Back)]

(Apparently loves gravy)

Auntie Clarabelle

"Yeah, I'm not the one yellower than a slice of auntie Clarabelle's lemon silk custard pie."

[No image available; only mentioned (The Black Vipers)]

(Makes a very decadent lemon silk custard pie that Jesse apparently likes)

[rocksibblingsau]

*The brothers get invited to Delta and Branch's yearly family cookout*

Branch's Auntie, in the middle of gossping: Marigold's son, well... he is certainly a fun loving guy, that one!

Deta Dawn: Somethings and some *people* never change, Cousin Claudia. We just gotta keep reminding ourselves that-

JD: Wait, ladies ladies! There is nothing wrong it having a bit of fun from times to times! Some might even say I'm a bit of a ~fun loving guy myself!

(Whole table falls silent)

JD: ...

JD, turning to Branch and whispering: ...Did I say something wrong?

Branch, taking a very deep, deep breath: Did you say something- Muses above, did you tumbleweed forget the very FIRST thing I told you folks before coming here?!

JD: Uhm... To not repeat anything you don't know the meaning of?-

Branch: TO NOT REPEAT ANYTHING YOU DON'T KNOW THE MEANIN' OF!!!

Branch, pinching his temple: Now, you better start runnin' before grandma whips out that damned crossbow...

JD: The what now? - arrow flies just pass his head - AHHH!

Clay, shoting at a running JD: It was nice knowing you, John!

Branch: The feeling ain't exactly shared... Welp - geting up with a knee slap - You folks wanna more of Uncle Darell's gravy?

Bruce: ...

Clay: Oh! Can you get me more of those mashed potatoes as well??

Floyd: ...... Uh-

Clay: And tell your aunt she did a ~splendid job with that shepard's pie!

John Dory would never understand country subtle talk

[ladyluscinia]

Ugh I'm still thinking about that damn tweet so...

2x08 Reaction #6

Ok, so this is not a screed against people posting about or hoping for Izzy's return - whether in joking denial or genuine belief. Like if that's what makes you feel better after the finale, you are entitled to all the posts, fix-it fics, etc.

But.

I really want to push back on this idea that it's this obvious thing canon is supporting.

This is not another Lucius situation. Like. It's just not.

Look, when Lucius was "killed" at the end of S1, it was a joke everyone was in on. He got tossed over the side of the ship with a little "fwoop" and a literal shoe spinning in the air. His "offscreen death" was confirmed by a guy who could not have known what happened after he fell. Of course he was alive.

Lucius's fake-out was so successful because it engaged with the genre of the show in a way that rewarded the audience for buying into the suspension of disbelief.

Izzy's death... doesn't.

Izzy dies from a stray bullet in a shot that you might miss on first watch. He's not doing anything important, or protecting anyone. It's random. They reveal he's injured and then make it back to the ship, only for him to give a dramatic deathbed speech. He dies on screen, and they immediately cut to his funeral.

This isn't the kind of death that fits with OFMD's universe. They tried to borrow a scene from Black Sails or something and just sanded down its edges. Killing a character in the main cast just because "it's a pirate show"? Really? The daring escape plan is real and dangerous and life-threatening in the same episode where Auntie survives an explosion, and we watched Zheng and Edward casually massacre their way through a dozen soldiers each?

I'm buying into the suspension of disbelief that our ragtag crew can escape scott-free because it's a silly romcom about a muppet guy where "things always have a way of working out in the end", and then the show looks me dead in the eye and says "Actually, no, this time the consequences are real. Sorry."

A bird landing on a grave doesn't change that?

Like... in Pirates of the Caribbean they can resurrect Barbossa from the dead like it's nothing because some of the first worldbuilding elements they introduce are a compass that points at what you most desire and gold that curses you into an undead existence. Of course necromancy exists.

OFMD had a guy turn into a seagull behind a tree for plausible deniability, a cursed coat rationalized as a peanut allergy, and the gravy basket which took place wholly in Edward's head. Resurrection would be a hell of a reach. Even if they did open S3 with it, it would be a retcon of Izzy's death, not a reveal that we all could have predicted.

Which does mean that pointing to vague tweets from the crew or likes of Witch!Buttons posts and pushing the idea "Look - they're telling us he'll be back!" leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Like... it's not set up as an inside joke this time. And especially if they don't get renewed - and they certainly seem worried - they should not get credited for leaving this particular beat "open" and just being thwarted by MAX or whatever.

Izzy dying right then, as shown on screen, was unambiguously their final beat.

[novankenn]

The TA -- Joan(Jaune) Arc

Original Artwork Inspired Post.

(Artwork created/owned by @pilot-boi, No rights Claimed/Implied by the author of this story)

Joan(Jaune) was able to escort Ruby to the auditorium, without any issues. Seconds after arriving a rather impressively busted blond made a b-line to them. Joan(Jaune) figured it was "Boob-zilla", Ruby's sister, and no... she was not upset that ANOTHER blond won the genetic lottery with a good set of tits. No. Not jealous at all.

After introductions, and once again getting the "Isn't that a girl's name?" question, Joan(Jaune) bid Yang and Ruby a good night. Minutes later there was a commotion around the pair. Joan(Jaune) looked and sighed. It appeared that the "Meanie" had decided to make a follow-up... strafing run?

Joan(Jaune) was even less enthused about being here when she heard the "Meanie" speak...

"Yeah! And we can paint our nails and try out clothes and talk about cute boys like tall, blond and... scraggly over there!"

Yep. She should have gone to Argus. Rolling her eyes, she walked away. She had very much at this point decided that the world was filled with idiots, and morons. How could NO ONE see she was a girl? So what if she didn't have the sweater melons the rest of her family sported. She had the complete package of hips and ass to die for!

Joan(Jaune) stopped at the large bay windows of the expansive room, and considered her reflection. She twisted about, striking a couple poses, trying to find her best side, and then gave up. Who was she kidding. When it came to the classic Arc woman... she didn't measure up. Stuffing her hands into the pocket of her hoodie she scuffed her feet along the floor, as she made her way towards the stage.

Sitting down on the steps, she slouched and waited. Aunt Glynda had told her to wait near the staging of the auditorium, if she wasn't at the bullheads to pick her up. Knowing better than to not listen to Aunt Glynda, Joan(Jaune) followed the instructions to the letter. There was one thing Joan(Jaune), all her sisters and cousins knew. If Mom or Aunt Glynda said to do something. You did it... lest you face the "glare"

Joan(Jaune) sat with utter disinterest through the speech. She wasn't here to study, how to hit things. She was hear to be an intern and figure out what she wanted to do with her life. Though if she was to listen to her mom's plan... was to get knocked up and have babies. Only one problem with that easily followable plan. She needed to find someone who even had the remotest interest for getting into her panties. Which considering her current, and perpetual single status, didn't look possible.

Once everything was said and done, Aunt Glynda came to collect her. While the victims, as Joan(Jaune) preferred to think of them, all got ready for Beacon's day one sleep-over, she followed her Aunt to her new home away from home.

"The room to the left is yours." Aunt Glynda informed Joan(Jaune). "You affects have all arrived so while initiation is happening, you can unpack, and get better settled."

"So what am I supposed to do here?" Joan(Jaune) asked.

"What do you mean sweetie? You're here to assist me in my classes."

"You teach teenagers how to beat each other up, Auntie." Joan(Jaune) pointed out. "How am I supposed to assist you in that?"

"You will be assisting me with various administrative tasks, in regard to my classes, and my workload as Deputy Headmistress."

"So I'm going to be your secretary? or is the term receptionist?" Joan(Jaune) tilted her head, pursing her lips as if thinking deeply. "Executive Assistant?"

"Joan(Jaune) do be a brat." Glynda chuckled. "You're my assistant, end of discussion."

"But Brat is my specialty!" Joan(Jaune) fake pouted,

"I'm sure it is. Now I'm ordering take out from the cafeteria. Anything special you would like for your first night here?"

"Bacon Double Cheese Burger with fries and gravy?"

"You should eat better." Glynda admonished.

"Why?" Joan(Jaune) asked. "You think if I start eating salads I'll suddenly get a growth spurt and have some good sized boobs?"

"You still on that Joan(Jaune)?"

"Duh. You, mom, my sisters... all of you, have bazongas worthy of legend... and what do I have?" Joan(Jaune) grabbed the front of her shirt and squeezed her chest. "I'm the president of the itty-bitty-titty club!"

"Joan(Jaune) enough. Get dressed for the night. I'll place your order and then we can sit down and watch some movies."

"Grimm-oids and Grimm-oids 2 Aftershocks?"

"You and your taste in films." Glynda rolled her eyes, before shooting her niece a warm smile. "Of course."

"Yes!" Joan(Jaune) cheered, as she spun about and made her way to her new room. "Finally this place is looking up!"

"What would you like to drink Joan(Jaune)?"

"Cola!" came the reply. "Can I get a box of Pumpkin Pete's Marshmallow Crunch?"

"Why would you want that garbage?"

"I don't know? Let's see, I think it tastes good, especially dry, and oh yeah! Hot red-head on the box!" Joan(Jaune) replied, "Plus I need like fifteen more tops to get the pink version of my hoodie!"

"I'll ask. Anything else?"

"Nope."

Glynda shook her head, but was smiling and chuckling. She had missed spending time with Joan(Jaune) and her sisters. These last few years had been rough, and it was nice to have some family close by again. Opening the cafeteria after hours app, Glynda put in her order. Once it was confirmed, she went to her own room to get changed.

Thirty minutes later she and Joan(Jaune) were cuddled up on Glynda's couch. Watching a horrible, but entertaining creature-feature-comedy-horror movie. Food wrappers and beverage containers cluttered the coffee table. While in Joan(Jaune)'s lap was an open box of cereal which she was eating like popcorn.

(A/N - I think that's enough leeching off of @pilot-boi's artwork. This may get another post or two... If I can figure out what I was trying to do with it. Anyway hope you enjoyed. If you like the artwork, drop by the artist's Tumblr and give them a like. TTYL)

[chuplayswithfire]

thinking about ways i would change the pacing of events in season two to give them more room for breathing, while keeping to the same number of episodes that were available, this is probably what i'd have done:

Episode 1: Impossible Birds: add back in the missing cutscene with izzy and ed featuring ed throwing a knife past izzy, with tally marks - use that scene to explain that these tallies represent the number of raids they've gone on since the end of season 1. izzy is complaining about ed's blackbeard routine, ed snipes that he thought izzy wanted them to be pirates, well this is what pirates do. he's taking that record, putting blackbeard back on the map, isn't that what you wanted, iz? izzy acknowledges to himself that this is not what he wanted.

Episode 4: Fun and Games: right off the bat, i think they could have, instead of the crew voting Ed into a banishment that lasts a single day and which the crew are therefore pretty easily swayed on, they put him on probation in ep 4, with black pete suggesting the bell and frenchie and wee john the outfit, and stede pointing out that ed's very injured so it's not like they couldn't overpower him if something goes wrong. ed's annoyed about the whole thing and still half dead and fucked up from the gravy basket, and after hearing the terms, the crew says he has 12 hours to think about it before they're leaving this area. he takes off for shore, grumbling about it, meets the rabbit and then mary. meanwhile, stede and buttons follow to convince him otherwise and so buttons can explain the gravy basket. they still encounter anne and mary, they still do that whole thing, buttons changing is what convinces ed to do the probation, we end the episode with ed wearing the probation outfit and begrudgingly thumbing the bell. expand the scene where the crew are working on izzy's leg, just to have them talking in general a bit - oluwande is talking to jim about zheng, saying he misses her a bit.

Episode 5: Curse of the Seafaring Life: at the start of ep 5, we imply that it's been a few days to a week maybe, and ed is still on probation. he gives his corporate apology as part of his on-going efforts to show penitence and make up for what he's done, and we get a sense that he's been doing grunt work around the ship - repairing sails, fixing things that were damaged and broken - throughout. the crew's responses to the apology are pretty much the same as in the show, with some "it has been nice to have someone else doing all that shit though, right" about how he's been working. their acceptance of the apology is now equal parts because of the work he's done as well as a joke about corporate apologies working. Ed still feels frustrated about being on probation and stede has had more time to say he hasn't really felt like a captain, so he and stede have their captain voice exchange pretty much verbatim from the show. ed and lucius have been more or less avoiding each other all week, adding more nuance to ed living rent-free in lucius' mind, and ed offering to let lucius push him overboard. ed fishing with fang is part of him finally getting to meaningfully connect with another crew member again since the probation started, and is overall less about sitting with himself and more about him sitting in the moment, not just rushing to plan the next move, fishing is a great activity for having to be here, in this moment. the end credits stinger is the scene with zheng, ricky, and auntie.

Episode 6: Calypso's Birthday: finally, now on ep 6, probation has ended, we indicate that it's been a few weeks, someone mentions off-handedly that lucius and pete have been having a lot of all day marathon sex ever since they became engaged. when they head off to get party supplies, someone mentions maybe they should fetch them, and they all decide to leave the lovebirds to it. because of the added scene to episode 1, we've heard of ned low, and realize aw shit ed planted a seed of trouble back when he decided to go after that record. no other changes. meanwhile in town, olu sees signs of zheng's presence and that she's been here and laments a little about missing her, and wondering if maybe that's a good thing, if she's still pissed at him for what happened.

Episode 7: proceeds as happened in the show, that little bit strengthened by the passage of time, and also olu having actually been talking about zheng.

[amuseoffyre]

Trying to keep a tally of all the different variations of themes and motifs they've given us this season is haaaaaaard. There's so much, all the time.

Myth & magic - mermaids, sea witch, fairies, Calypso, ghosts, the gravy basket, transmogrification

Soup - just everywhere. Symbolic of comfort and home and security and safety

Fish & fishing - an opposite to piracy, a place of peace and bonding, tranquility, a symbol of taking control of monsters of the deep, taking control of one's life

Poison & infection - poison ruining things, poison needing to be purged, infection needing removal, the fatality of poison if you let it fester, poison to positivity

Birds - Ed's impossible bird as an allusion to the Rime of the Ancient Mariner, the death of a bird to feed the starving crew of the Revenge, messenger birds, birds as symbols of freedom and change, Zheng's fenghuang on her ship

The Odyssey - Circe's pigs on an island, Calypso, a man on a long and difficult journey, speaking to the shades of the dead, a man walking in disguise in the place he came from

Underwater - death, rebirth, submersion, destruction, foreboding

Weather - srsly, how they're using the weather this season is ridiculous. So much packed in to incidental weather sequences.

Bells - Ed's bell, Auntie's bell, the chime of the clock, for whom the bell tolls, the death knell

This is both a feast and a nightmare when your specialist niche is media/literary analysis 😅

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

I thought I’d do a pinned post finally.

So, 40s; likely neurodiverse (like Rhys, never diagnosed). I like meta so that��s what I’ve got.

Going to attempt some sort of Auntie-style filing system to help my spicy, peri-fogged brain. This is for me so I don’t repeat myself. Feel free to completely ignore.

Stede Bonnet

Stede Bonnet and Touch

Stede Bonnet, Lover of Beauty

Stede Bonnet and Esprit de Corps

Stede Bonnet and Unconditional Positive Regard

Stede Bonnet and the Power of Crying

Stede and the Power of the Fake Map

Stede and the Wooden Boy Allegory

Stede and Narrative Lenses

Stede, The Squeaky Listener

Stede, Chauncey and the Couch Scene

Stede & Guilt - Manifesting Chauncey

Stede and his Neurospicy Self

‘China? It’s quite far away’

Stede, Sex and Boarding School (Headcanon)

The Jester and The King

It Was Never About Piracy

Stede Bonnet, Renaissance Man

Merstede: the Goldfish and the Sea-God

Stede, Weigher of Souls

Stede Bonnet and the Subversive Shirt

Stede is Fearless

Stede: ‘I’m not. No’

Stede is Izzy’s Worst Nightmare

Stede: ‘He’s so fragile’

Stede and Bouncebackability

Letters: Stede & Captain Wentworth

Proper Little Seductresses: Lucius, Stede & Being Femme

Ed Teach

The Objectification of Ed Teach and You Wear Fine Things Well

‘You left me for Mary?’: Ed and White Patriarchy

‘Skin him first. And use the snail fork.’ The racial abuse of Ed Teach

Ed Teach, Working Class Hero (Marxism)

Ed Teach, Literacy and Racist Readings

Ed Teach, Gods and Beautiful Things

Ed, the Gravy Basket and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need

Ed, The Innkeeper Dream and Self-actualisation

Ed, Trauma and Extrinsic Value

Ed, Identity and the Crew of the Revenge

‘I triumphed…Behold!’ Ed and Personal Narratives

‘Eddie’ and Emotional Abuse

Ed and Symbolism: the Innkeeper Awakening

Ed and Stede Bunnet

Ed, Calico and Stede

‘I should’ve let the English kill you’ Taika’s god-tier characterisation

Ed and the Destruction of Fine Things

Ed and Cake #food 1 (short)

Ed and the Grain Tower #food 2 (short)

Ed and the ‘Promise’

Ed and saying ‘Sorry’

Ed and Fear

Ed’s Initial Intentions Towards Stede

Jeff The Accountant

Ed: Say my Name

The Erasing of Ed’s Personhood (Again)

Mother Teach, Ed, and Self-Determination

Ed: ‘I’m supposed to kill you’

Ed: I’m just a simple man

Stede and Ed

Monsters, Mermaids and Queer Allegories

Thumb Wars

The Male Heroine and the Femme Hero

‘Never Left’: 108 & 208

Gentleman Pirates

Argument against Dubcon (207)

Mi Media Naranja

When Was It Love?

Good Bones

Stede lives in Ed’s Synapses

Mundus Inversus

Too Far, Too Fast

Ed, Stede, Ed, Stede!

Their Bodies Know 108

OFMD & Amadeus

They are adequate

The Act of Grace

Sparks Joy

‘Edward’ + ‘Stedey-boy!’

Fabric of the Heart

Matching Marks

my poem

OFMD, Subversion and Why It’s so Bloody Brilliant

What Does it Look Like to be in Love?

Babe

Binary Stars

Just them

Ficlets

Stede’s Roses

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Would you tell us more about your pets someday mayhaps? 🥺👉👈 I love reading your stories about Rascal (precious puppy), but did I understand right that you have More pets?? ❤️

Awww this is so sweet anon. I'd love to tell you about my little jerk babies! <3 Doing this in age order! :3

Rascal- a 16 year old black english cocker spaniel. aliases: Razzy, Mr. Baby, bear, pookie, Sir (when he's in trouble) - came from a flea market 16 years ago. best $150 anyone ever spent -he's very sweet, my soul dog, love of my life. but also he is evil to me sometimes, as is his nature. - he's deaf and can't see well but his nose works! he could sniff out a hot dog (his fave snack) from across town. :') - he also has a sixth sense for when the fridge opens? i don't know how he knows. - sleeps next to me most of the time TwT - does NOT like to be held but is so holdable - has a docked tail so he has a little bear butt - is currently laying on the wheels/ legs of my desk chair so i can't escape. he does this constantly T-T - sometimes displays symptoms of dementia where he doesn't want to eat/ acts confused. :( and that makes me very sad. - has a heart condition and a problem with retaining fluid so he's on two different diuretics. - basically he has every illness but i love him so much. even when he accidentally bites me. i would kill for him and i am not joking. <3

Charles- an 8 year old tabby cat aliases: Charlie, auntie's girl (i'm her auntie), asshole - found her in the garage, her mom took her brother but left her :( - is trans! - we thought she was a girl and gave her a Grown Man's Name to piss my dad off but then she turned out to have a penis. we use she/her for her. - wicked princess from hell. <3 - dumb - has freakishly long whiskers? - sometimes doesn't look like herself. jess and i joke that she's a shapeshifter and forgets what she looks like so she gets it wrong :o - lets me hold her like a baby but then gets mad about it. :/ - doesn't like wet food but likes the gravy of it? - YOWLER

Thomas- a 7 year old calico cat aliases: Tiny, aunty's girl (i'm her aunty), jerk - found her in the weeds outside my house! she was screaming like a banshee. her mom also left her! :((( - FAT!!! she weighs 14lb and we don't know why! her pouch is LORGE - constantly being bad to get attention. :/ - scratches jess's desk chair, rips up curtains, tries to eat any and all string (yarn, my HAIR, shoelaces, etc.) - chases the (50lb) dog around, but lets charlie beat her up? (charles is only 11ish pounds) - looks like a lil alien sometimes - annoying baby! - will climb onto your lap and demand pets as soon as you're trying to do something (jess constantly falls victim to this, rip jess</3) - youngest child energy :/ (jess is the cats' mom so... it tracks)

Daisy May- a ??? year old tan pit bull mix aliases: brownie, brown sugar, wifey (she thinks that her and jess are married), brown susan, (i got confused), beth (??) - was our neighbor's dog but they abandoned her! >:( then she was ours. - escaped containment one day and came back preggers >:( - had 8 puppies and hated all of them but one. - very sweet, wants to live in jess's lap - heavy! - likes being danced at, loves to WAG, will jump on you to give kisses - criminal mastermind. maybe.

Buford- a 5 year old black and tan pit bull mix aliases: Boofy, stinky, skunk, dickhead, BEEF SUPREME, beefy - the one puppy brownie liked. - NEVER SHUTS UP - brain the size of a pea. a small pea. - is afraid of Thomas but not afraid of Charles - velcro dog. cannot pee without her. - constantly chewing on her feet??? nasty! - has very soft ears <3 - HEAVIEST! - makes me wanna die a lot T-T - will steal food from old men (rascal) with no remorse

anyway!!! that's all my stupid babies i love you for asking about them anon. if any of them were photogenic i would share pictures but alas...

[blackjack-15]

i have never found fak less charming than i do now. yikes

"do you think donna's gonna do something crazy?" donna being mrs. berzatto's name i'm guessing (mulaney calls her "Auntie Dee")? yeah she is.

nat trying to enlist carmy in getting rid of the alcohol and carmy is like "i have no idea i'm doing six things no one look at me"

the history of nat's nickname is so...mundane? like...we've all mixed up salt/sugar before. not in gravy, mind, but i don't make a lot of italian gravy. traditional gravy (meat drippings + roux)? yeah. not italian.

cousin steve going in on the baseball card racket b/c it sounds hilarious to him is the most relatable thing i've ever seen on tv. like it's not gonna end well but boy is it gonna be worth his money for the entertainment

gosh in every carmy/mikey scene every line of dialogue is a painful reminder of carmy's "i just wanted him to say good job!" from 1X08.

"i don't need you acting all nice if you don't give a f//k" that's carmy, down to his bones. it's why he said nat was being gross when she pulled the Small Innocent Little Girl act on cicero. carmy lies, dodges, represses, stays out of stuff, sure. but when people ask him what he thinks, he tells them. and he doesn't want people to be nice to him if they actually don't care.

carmy wants to be loved so badly, wants to be loved without having to ask for it or claw it out of people. it hurts really, really bad. exquisitely acted.

gift giving! he has a knack for it -- the knife to tina is the most recent example, but very few people to give to right now. the drawing is so lovely, and carmy looks so boyish and happy when mikey says he loves it

oh mikey. he looks so lost and so unhappy and so worried when he's by himself. he's not doing well and he hides it through loud bravado, and especially looks like he hides it from carmy. the beef is a mess right now, and i think he knows he probably won't be around to open that restaurant with carmy. but his note makes even more sense now, as does the money. it really was the gift he felt like he could give. i'm hard on mikey as an older sibling, but he's got his own stuff he's dealing with on top of everything, and it really shows sometimes

this family is so full of desperately sick, unhappy, unhealthy people. and it seems like when they congregate, it just gets worse.

mikey's trying to set carmy up for life, in the role of father figure/older brother -- skills, money, even a romantic partner. but none of it is what carmy actually needs, present day.

"is it possible that you're the asshole" cousin steve can you come back we need your insights. i feel like him, syd, and pete would be Buddies

kind, sensitive, devoted, altruistic, empathetic, and commonly known to be adept at grieving -- characteristics of bears? characteristics of our titular Bear?

mikey sneaking out in full Joseph of Bethlehem regalia, richie noticing

cousin steve do not get eaten by the jaguar

i love when normalish people interact with Berzatto Insanity (like my beloved pete! where is pete? did nat not meet him yet?) and it's like...oh they're in another realm. right.

"no one lifts a finger to help me" as nat is down on her knees cleaning up. yikes.

suicide threats. wonderful. yeah i'm going back to the armchair diagnosis of HPD. my gosh.

RUN COUSIN STEVE that was hysterical

that is a hug that nat very much needed. thank you cousin steve

oh no what's donna gonna do. i know it's not gonna be suicide but it's def gonna be a Spectacle, and prolly traumatic

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Seven (Part 3)

The sun has already begun its descent behind the horizon when we all sit down to eat at three o’clock. These later December days are so short that sometimes I wonder why the sun bothers to show up at all, and why not just give up its teasing and go away altogether until it’s ready to stay and commit to a decent amount of daylight. 

The candles in the centre of the table flicker and dance in the fading light and the lights on the christmas tree twinkle, and the sight is so cosy and festive that I suppose I don’t really mind all that much about the dusk. Uncle Sean sails out of the kitchen carrying the huge roasted turkey fit for ten, and everyone applauds with delight as he smiles as though he’s the one who slaved over it all morning. He places it right in the middle of the table surrounded by the roasted carrot batons and the crispy roast potatoes, parsnips, mash, brussels sprouts, homemade yorkshire puddings, ham studded with cloves, gallons of gravy and bread sauce, so much food that one might think it’ll last for days, but it will be gone in an hour.

Granny makes us say a prayer in thanks for the food, and the minute we’ve finished Conor and Decky start lunging for it, taking heaping spoonfuls of mashed potatoes, great big hacks of meat and drowning it all in gravy while Aunty Catriona stares at them like they’re wild animals at the zoo. 

“Leave some for the rest of us, please.” she says to them and Uncle Sean laughs. “Sure they’re growing boys, Cat, leave them at it.”

“They’re gone past growing, sure they’re twenty six and twenty three.”

“G’way, Catriona.” Says Conor with a mouthful of honey roasted ham. “There’s plenty for us all.”

Sean turns to Fabiana next to him as the food makes the rounds of the table. “Bread sauce, love?” He says, holding up the jug, and she pulls a disgusted face and shakes her head, and as he passes it over her to granny, Fabiana looks over at me with a little, secretive smile. I grin back, pleased that she’s chosen me as an ally among the chaos of this family dinner. 

Somebody opens a bottle of red wine and she reaches for it and then bends over the table and starts pouring it into my crystal glass, the ones that only come out of the cabinet on Christmas day. I feel my mam’s eyes on me as I have a drink from it. 

It’s a while before anyone tries to speak, our mouths all full of food as we ravage what’s on the table. I’m so hungry now that I can’t think of anything else, the food tasting a thousand times more delicious because of how long I’ve waited for it. 

“So Michael, how’s the new job going?” Catriona says to my dad eventually, once her plate is about three quarters of the way finished. “I know you were let go from your previous one recently.”

“Going grand.” He says, patting the corners of his mouth with a cloth napkin, his movement a little bit slow and sloppy. “I work nights now in the factory, worse conditions, I suppose, but better money. No big change from the last place to be honest… we make catheters now.”

“Ah, I suppose you’ll take what you can get. That’s how the economy is these days.”

A pause. “And how’s the love life, Cat?”

“Well actually I amn’t seeing anyone at the moment.”

“Oh right. What happened to yer man?”

“Who?” Says Sean, and my dad waves his fork around at aunty Catriona, searching for the right name. 

“The fella from accounting at her work.” He settles on eventually, and she rolls her eyes and goes back to her food. 

“Not seeing anyone.” She repeats. I take a large glug of the red wine. 

“That’s a pity, sure we were all hoping for some news about more grandkids.” My mam elbows him in the arm, and he looks at her in surprise. “What?” 

“Dad and Fabiana are already having another baby, did you not know that?” Says Decky. “She’s seven months pregnant, like.” 

“Ah yeah but sure like…” He trails off, and I feel hot with embarrassment of him already, as clearly he’s already had a few drinks too many. His eyes are watery and heavy. I drain the end of my wine glass and Fabiana immediately fills it again. 

“Anyone tried the brussels sprouts?” Says granny. “They’re especially delicious this year.” 

“No, brussels sprouts are sick.” Says Conor. 

“They’re very healthy for you.” Attempts Fabiana and he immediately rolls his eyes at her. 

“Yeah, alright. Can we talk about something else?” I stiffen and look from Conor to Decky, Fabiola to Sean. Clearly something is not right in their family this Christmas, and I wonder how the boys really feel about their father dating a woman young enough to be their sister. I watch her face fall and the way that she goes back to picking at her food with a bent head. 

“Tell your granny about school.” Sean says to his youngest son then, and Conor regards him with total incredulity.

“I’m graduated, dad.” 

“Are you? Weren’t we at that yoke in your university only last month?”

“Yeah. My graduation ceremony.”

“Oh right, yeah.” 

“I’m working with the county council now.”

“Forgot about that.”

The only sounds at the table are the scraping of silverware against the plates. I take another long drink from my glass and instantly Fabiana is wielding the bottle again. I have a feeling she’s going to have me drink the whole thing, wishing it could be her instead. 

“Fabiana.” I say softly. “You’ve got to slow down. I have a hard time saying no to people.” 

“Just a bit.” She says, and then to my horror, all eyes are on me as my mam starts a fresh tirade. 

“Since when do you drink?” She says accusingly into the silence. 

“Um. I don’t know.” I say feebly, feeling like a child caught rotten doing something against the rules. 

“She’s drank for years.” Decky pipes up unhelpfully. “Remember I saw you drinking cans of cider outside Kennedy’s pub in town after you and your friends weren’t allowed in. What age were you then? Must have been fifteen.” He’s laughing because he thinks he’s told a funny anecdote, but he has no idea how tone deaf it is. I stare at him in disbelief. What is going on at this dinner table? How did he think that was an okay thing to say? My mother’s eyes narrow at me. 

“I’m eighteen.” I squeak. “I can drink if I want to.”

“Is this what you’re doing up there in Dublin?” She demands. “Up in those pubs drinking away all of your money?”

“No, mam. I’m not like that.”

“I’m disappointed.” She says, and then looks from me to my father with a resigned look on her face, and I know what she’s thinking. That I’m going to end up just like him, stuck to the bar in some pub all weekend until I get carried out by the bouncers and tossed into a taxi only to crash into the house at two in the morning and fall asleep on the couch until noon. Going from work to the drink and then back again in this endless, drunken spiral. 

“There’s something about women who drink.” She announces to the table. “I think there’s nothing worse, nothing less attractive than that. You know, when you see a man, messy drunk, stumbling on the streets, it’s bad enough, but when it’s a woman it’s a hundred times worse.”

“That’s sexist.” I say to her. 

“It isn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because it isn’t the same, and I don’t appreciate this new bolshy attitude you have. Where are you picking up all these notions?”

“You can’t just say ‘it isn’t’ and then not have any reason why. That’s the definition of a double standard.”

“Well it’s my opinion. What do you lads think when you see drunk women out on the street on a Saturday night?” She closes in on my cousins who look at each other and shrug, mumbling incoherencies. 

“You wouldn’t go out with someone who did that, would you?” 

“Uh I dunno.” Decky says. “Depends.” 

I feel a horrible lump in my throat and my chest hurts. I hurt. I take a steadying breath before I speak in case I cry. “Are you saying that’s the reason you think that I…” I trail off, too humiliated to finish my sentence. 

She looks into my face then, wavering slightly but not backing down. “Boys don’t like girls who drink.”

I look at my father, drunk at three in the afternoon, lazily eating his dinner without bothering to close his mouth all the way. “So they like girls who enable their drinking instead, right?” I say and when her face falls I realise it’s too late to take the words back. They’re out there, filling the room with this dreadful, grim weight, but I continue anyway, throwing my hand up in the direction of my dad. “Is this what you want for me?” I ask her. There isn’t a sound from anyone at the table, not even a clink of glass against the delft, and my mother just opens her mouth and closes it again. I get up from the table in a hurry, the chair scraping against the floor. I throw my napkin onto my plate and rush out of the room and up the stairs towards the bedroom that granny has made up for me. 

“Does anyone want the Christmas pudding?” I hear her murmur to the table, before I shut the door behind me. 

Prev // Next